What is it about the DMV that makes people crazy? They certainly don’t hold exclusive rights to mindless bureaucracy and mind-numbing form-shuffling and yet I can think of no other organization that can get so little done for so few in such a long period of time.

It seems that the only thing they manage to do efficiently is irritate the shit out of you while simultaneously giving you no assistance whatsoever. How do they do it? There should be a study done!

I pride myself on being one of the more patient people I know. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and will wait quietly and calmly under most situations. My recent trip to the DMV was no exception. I managed to get through most of my business uneventfully until, in a moment which I will chalk up to DMV euphoria, I made the fatal error of asking one final question that did not pertain to my business at hand.

The unexpectedly helpful gentleman at the counter informed me that he was only trained to do one form of transaction (sort of like a receptionist knowing how to answer a phone but not dial out) and would have to ask a colleague to assist him. I had no idea the turmoil this would cause.

This aforementioned colleague made it very clear that we were never to bother him again and under no certain terms would he be willing to answer my questions unless I was actually being served by him. He gave a long-winded angry response which, after my head stopped reeling, I realized was his gentle way of saying, “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing either!”

As I was leaving I thought to myself, “Wow! I got this close to walking out of there without a headache.” That would have been cool.